« Home | Today's Personal Responsibility Award, or 'But, Tr... » | See you in the funny papers? » | If Fox News had been around throughout history...... » | It only hurts when I pump...Thanks Exxon..thanks 1... » | Outside of Kinky Friedman... » | Why don't we just give them Texas - $10,000,000,00... » | Today's theme song comes Richard and Linda Thompso... » | If only Bush had listened to himself.... » | double latte for the devil..let me please introduc... » | British Film-zine lists Top 100 Films - Vertigo is... »

The Beaman Park Squirrel-Eating Monster

It may not be as scary as the Bell Witch, the Antioch Deathkiller or the Tennessee Titans (lack of) defense, but there must be a squirrel eating monster residing in the dales or hollows of the newest Nashville Park.

Today was the perfect day for a walk in the park..after eating splendid bagel sandwiches at Bongo Java East we sauntered (can you saunter in a car?) north-westward to Beaman Park. There are two official trails in the park (an experience park-goer told us that there were many more unofficial trails)-The Hollow trail and the Ridgetop trail. Consdering that the Ridgetop trail is 4.4 miles round trip and the Hollow trail was a 2.1 mile loop that didn't require backtracking, it was an easy choice for us.

I highly recommend taking the trek out to Beaman Park. It's out of the way but that is one of the park's many virtues. When I was in high school one of our favorite pranks was to drive up to someone walking or standing on the side of the road and and then ask them if they knew the way to some obscure road (our favorite was North Berry Chapel Road). When they said that they didn't know the way we proceeded to tell them. Always good for seriously confused looks and deranged laughter from those of us in the car...anyway..Do you know how to get to Beaman Park???

Go out Ashland City Highway from Bordeaux until you get to Eatons Creek Road - turn right (right is the only way you can turn) and stay on Eaton's Creek for about 50 miles (actually it's probably 5 or 6). After you cross Old Hickory Blvd. you wll see signs for the park. Turn left on Marrowbone road (it's marked with a park sign and you will see the entrance to the park on your left in about 1/2 mile). Well worth the trip.

After hiking for about 1/2 mile we realized something was missing. This is a truly isolated quiet forested area with thousands of trees. No squrrels. Absolutely postively none...nada..zip..zilch. Considering that the minute we put out any bird feed in our near-downtown urban area house we see greedy-bird-food-eating squirrels coming out of the, well, trees. How can we have squirrels here in Salemtown and there are NONE in Beaman Park?

My theory (it's mine and i'm sticking to it) is that a giant squirrel eating monster resides in a cave by the stream that runs through the park. I thought I heard the creature and attempted to take a picture but I must have just missed it.

Maybe someone far smarter than me has a better explaination. But like other bloggers wanting to believe in Loch Ness i've gotta believe that intelligient design provides for squirrel eating monsters. Our visting birds would sure be happy if that were the case...

Links to this post

Create a Link

About me

  • I'm John H
  • From Salemtown, Tennessee, United States
  • Cruising past 50, my wife and I have reared three kids and several dogs. I work for state government and daily conspire to deflate bureacracy.
My profile