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Ozzie goes hairy at writer, or Just wait til' the sox have holes

I'll start with a stereotype: The Chicago White Sox 'fiery Latin' manager Ozzie Guillen recently dove into hot water with an angry diatribe about sportswriter Jay Mariotti. Mariotti chided Guillen for publicly humiliating a rookie pitcher for NOT THROWING at an opposition batter in retaliation for one of the White Sox batters being hit in retaliation for an earlier opposition batter, etc. One of the reasons I love baseball is that it is quite the adult game.

Anyway, in honor of big-shot blogger-Dallas-Maverick-owner Mark Cuban I'm going to employ subtle evasive anagrams for the bad words used in Guillen's spirited blast:

Mariotti is a <Sweet Honey Ice Tea>...He's a <French Army Ghost>.


Ozzie's ballpark cred is unchallenged. He led the usually hapless Chicago White Sox to baseball's world championship last year. The Sox are clearly one of this year's elite teams as well. He BETTER keep winning. His uncensored comments are largely adored by fawning fans and sympathetic media...just watch what happens when the Sox revert to their normal ways, emulating the more popular team immediately to their north. Ozzie will be thrown under the bus, into the lake and will be considered as fresh as his partner-in-name Ozzie Osbourne, residing in a land where every day is a black sabbath.

Of course, the lame powers that be in baseball sprang forth and fined Ozzie for his thoughtless use of words "that don't reflect baseball's values". He is also required to enter the lint trap response to just about anything considered offensive:sensitivity training. I'm sure the bland bromides doled out in the sensitivity sessions will permeate that fiery Latin, er, spirited temperment.

Maybe he'll learn that the best defense against accusations of demeaning gay folks is not,
'Hey, I attend WNBA games..I went to a Madonna concert'
...Some things you just can't make up.

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About me

  • I'm John H
  • From Salemtown, Tennessee, United States
  • Cruising past 50, my wife and I have reared three kids and several dogs. I work for state government and daily conspire to deflate bureacracy.
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