Thanks to Rep. Stacey 'run-on' Campfield, we learned today that a man by the name of Mark Albertini is a Republican candidate for governor.

As one who is constantly striving for fair play and comity between the Dems and the GOPers, I decided to peruse Mr. Albertini's website in the hope that I could learn more about said candidate and perhaps proffer advice to the fledgling candidate.

These words nearly jumped off the page:

Concerned citizens must arise to the cause and protect their families from the tyranny of evil and oppressive rulers and their ungodly decisions. We must work together to make our world better for ourselves and eachother (sic).

These are the words of no mere candidate. These are the words of a super-hero avenging angel. Mark was a Marine. So, not only do I know he could whip my ass, I want to help him beef up his website. Here's a quote that seems to fit:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

I'm thinking a picture of Candidate Albertini with the jawbone of Steve Gill an ass preparing to slay the Philistinish tree-hugging-pro-abortion-anti-war-Brokeback Mountain-Watching -corrupt-highway-patrol unwashed sinners. By the way, if you do win, Mr. Albertini, as a loyal state employee, rest assured that I will be behind you 1000%.

Posted by John H on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 at 6:17 PM | Permalink