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Stick it in yer ear, Edna St. Vincent Millay, or, notes from a hockey game

Last night I’m watching a GREAT hockey game. The Preds are playing the team that knocked them out of the play-offs last year – The San Jose Sharks. The Sharks are all about 6’9” and 280 and can somehow skate like Dick Button, without all the mincing.

There are four minutes left in the game, and the score is tied. Good times. Excitement. Tension…and then this nimrod in front of us stands up and attempts to start the wave. He clearly has no clue what is going on in the game…he just thinks that NOW would be a good time to start the DAMN wave.

Let me say this: I HATE the FREAKIN’ WAVE. I thought it was cool in the 70s when the University of Michigan crowd basically invented the thing. It was fun into the 80s’. But, folks, the wave is oh so PLAYED. If you feel compelled to start a wave, go out in the concourse and try to talk the vendors into joining in…leave me (and my section) the hell out of it, PLEASE.

I’ve got a few more things to say about the general inanity that surrounds sporting events. This is not original with me, I know, but PLEASE don’t tell me to ‘MAKE SOME NOISE!!’. I know when to cheer. I know when to shut up. I know that if we clear the puck when the other team is on the ‘power play’, it’s a good thing. I know to shut up when 'our team' has the football.

If you’re unsure when to cheer, look around. Fans who are not busy starting the wave, calling their friends to tell them they are on the Jumbotron, fans who didn’t get to the game 30 minutes late and are dying to leave 30 minutes early..ask them. They probably know what is going on.

And finally, as I have opined before, the word ‘sucks’ frankly, SUCKS. Can’t we come up with another pejorative that has a jaunty misanthropic ring?

Oh yeah, Edna S V Millay - she said, I love humanity but I hate humans (or something like that). Frankly, I feel just the opposite. I love many humans, but the humanity, oh the humanity, I can sometimes do without...especially when they're trying to start the wave.

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  • I'm John H
  • From Salemtown, Tennessee, United States
  • Cruising past 50, my wife and I have reared three kids and several dogs. I work for state government and daily conspire to deflate bureacracy.
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