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You don't need a password, or, life on the road in Arkansas

I'm in Fort Worth, Texas now (where I spent 21 days in 2005 on a planned 3 day trip which included 4 endoscopys, a colonscopy, 3 CT scans, 6 blood transfusions, 5 gooooolden rings..just made the last one up, and blood leaving...all in all, my summer of fun). I'm tempting fate to return to the scene less sublime, but I love my friends.

Anyway, last night at the La Quinta (spanish for Motel 5 - not quite good enough for six) in south Little Rock, AK, I asked the front desk dude if the motel had 'wi-fi'. He says 'sure, I've just got to turn it on', reaches under the counter, does something with his hand, and tells me 'you're all set'.

Me: Do I need to know a password or sign-in ID?
Clerk: You don't need a password..you'll automatically be signed in.
Me: Are you sure? every other motel or hotel i've stayed in has a password of some sort,
Clerk: no password needed

fast forward to me attempting to sign in (i'm sure you can see this coming).
My computer detects the 'La Quinta' network. I hit connect to sign in. The inevitable happens.

Computer screen: Password Required

Me calling front desk using my motel room phone: uh, I just tried to sign on and the screen says I need to enter a password
Clerk: I don't think so
Me: um..would you like to come up and see?
Clerk: oh yeah, I remember now...I've got to turn on your phone..
Me: huh
Me: huh
Me: Uh, I just called you using the room phone
Clerk: oh yeah
Me: I'm not sure what turning on the phone has to do with this
Clerk: you don't need a password
Me: Is there some number I can call to talk to someone who understands the fact that i need a password?*
Clerk: Sure, it's an 800 number.
Me: Could you give me the number, and is anyone there at 10:00 PM at night?
Clerk: yes, they are there 24/7

Fast forward to me calling the number...
Phone answers: 'We're sorry, but no one can help you at this time, our working hours are......(rude hangup)

I checked the available wireless networks and I found another network from a truck parked outside. Shamelessly, I borrowed the truck's wireless for 20 minutes.

What is it about Arkansas? You do know they can't use DNA testing for crime in Arkansas, right?

* No curse words were uttered and no front desk clerks were injured when preparing for this post.

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About me

  • I'm John H
  • From Salemtown, Tennessee, United States
  • Cruising past 50, my wife and I have reared three kids and several dogs. I work for state government and daily conspire to deflate bureacracy.
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